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Now that the clouds have darkened​.​.​.

by Dissociation

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1.
Silence... 01:51
Un jour, après une beuverie d'une semaine, j'ai décidé de me tuer. J'ai rien dit à Vicky. J'envisageais de le faire pendant qu'elle serait dans un bar, à la recherche d'un vivant. L'idée qu'elle se faisait troncher par ces clowns adipeux me déplaisait, mais elle me donnait de l'argent, du whisky et des cigares. Elle me faisait le coup : "Chéri, tu es le seul que j'aime". Pour une raison que je n'ai jamais devinée, elle m'appelait Monsieur Van Bilderass. Pétée, elle répétait sans arrêt : "Alors on se prend pour un caïd ? On se prend pour Monsieur Van Bilderass ?". L'idée du suicide et de sa réalisation ne me quittaient jamais.
2.
I can't see the future I suffer in the present And the past is lost Ashes, decay and broken hopes. I live in fog I can't see my footsteps The sun never rises On the horizon of my soul. All is so useless All is so hopeless I see nothing good I see nothing bright. It never lasts they say It has been like this for such a long time though And my hope for better days has faded away long ago Quand le vin a été terminé la déprime, la trouille, et l'inutilité de continuer sont devenues trop lourdes à supporter, et j'ai compris que j'allais le faire. Dès qu'elle aurait quitté la piaule, je le ferais. Comment, je ne savais pas très bien. On pouvait s'y prendre de cent manières différentes. Nous possédions un petit réchaud à gaz. Le gaz me séduisait assez. Le gaz est une sorte de baiser, il laisse le corps intact. Le vin était éclusé, je pouvais à peine marcher. Des vagues de peur et de sueurs me ballotaient en tous sens. Soudain, tout devient simple. Le plus grand soulagement. Ne plus jamais devoir croiser un quidam sur le trottoir. Ne plus jamais voir leur graisse tressauter, ni leurs petits yeux de rats, leurs visages cruels et imbéciles, leur floraison animale. Quel doux rêve... ne plus jamais devoir regarder en face un être humain.
3.
Sleep is so murky A weird form of relief Which comes with silence As I get closer to death Time slips on by so fast I'd like you by my side I cannot live like this But my complaints are mute Will you leave me to die here ? Am I nothing to you ? Were we nothing ? Was it all vain ? Everyday I feel like I'm dying a little more My pills are not even working anymore It's all death around me And I can't live alone.
4.
I wear my darkness on my clothes I spread it everywhere I pass by I remove the warmth I make your home cold and unsafe. I am unease incarnate The black beast your fear I will bring nightmares And visions of decay to your soul. Cursed be the blue of the sky Cursed be its light I live for the rain I live for the floods. Now that the clouds have darkened Now that all hope is gone I know that you can see What despair dwells inside my heart.
5.
6.
The trees will see us go up in flames, tonight As the sparkle of life vanishes in the air I can feel the cold breeze of the wind in my neck I can see the pale light in the dark Thoughts tainted with grey scream like tortured souls That I have feasted on long ago To ease a greedy appetite for vengeance The ground gives way under my feet I have visions blurred in the mist Of a forest in the distance Where lights are brought to life again But a vision can't be true
7.
8.
So this is how it ends On this winter night Trees are pale and naked And I turn cold, so cold Life has no meaning At the end of the day Everything turns out to be the same What if I die tonight ? Paper grows blood stains As the sky puts on a black drape This time, the world becomes silent This time, everything is muted for good Once there were roses on our table But now they are withered Time passes by so slowly And everyday I grow old a little more There are no more secrets on sewn lips There are no more lights in the streets It is my despair that is carved inside Like the letters on a stone epitaph No one can save me The leap is close I write this story blood red And I add a final point, this is the end.
9.
10.

credits

released December 22, 2023

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Dissociation France

Dissociation is a depressive black metal band from France. Founded in late 2021, it consists of Gangrène (guitar, synth, vocals) and Son of the Wolves (bass guitar, drums, vocals).

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